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Bob (Daam-Kvash)
Billions, millions, even trillions of years before humanity came to Sirius, it was, metaphorically, a spess workshop for a group of alien god creator being penis things called the Daam-Kvosh (Pronounced DA- aw fuck it who cares). Capable of amazing technology, they created the nomads, jumpholes, cardamine, Patrick Stewart, and are responsible for making all planets and suns in /v/lancer only 3 miles in diameter. The nomads, being the fucking stupid space dildoes that they are, declared war on the Daam-Kvosh, and, while they got their asses handed to them, did make the Daam-Kvosh sad, and so the trillions of vast starships of the God Damn-Kvosh chose to leave their home behind, and construct a new world, where they would have a fresh start. Even their normal modus of travel, the Hypergates, were too small to jump the entire race, so they constructed the most unimaginably powerful creation ever created by creators, a massive jumpgate, bigger than anything that had ever existed. And, in case the nurrmads ever came after them, they both sealed the entrance code to it, and gave it extremely powerful security. Finally, they named it, giving it a word in their language of color and music that was believed to be so powerful it formed the base standard for all space and time. It is Bob. It is the final boss of /v/lancer. It is giant fucking diamond-shaped tube with particle effects FUCKING EVERYWHERE. And it will kill you. Location Bob can be found in the OH FUCK WHAT IS THAT system, nicknamed the "Halls of Heaven" by everyone who visits it. Given the name, it is then obvious that the system is part of the endgame level, which already features heavily on space warping alien machinery. The hypergate to the HoH is one of the easily remembered of the currently unamed hyperholes, back in the hub world for the endgame. To find it, head to the checkpoint at the center of the hub, which is a normal station. From there, open your map and find the gate that is FARTHEST from you, it should be about 7k away, and be near the end of one side, and on the lower half of the gates. Getting to Bob inside the halls of heaven is easy unless you Minecraft, for then you are an autistic and will be too busy grinning like a chucklefuck at all the pretty lights inside OH FUCK WHAT IS THAT. But if you just THINK you have autism, from there take the tradelane to the center of the HoH, fly over the giant who-the-fuck-knows-what station, and take the Tradelane that leads to a giant wormhole in the distance. For reference, you are 200k away from that wormhole. It is the largest object in the game, it is also part of the boss. Holy. Fucking. Shit. Defeating Bob Despite the fact that a fleet of pretty veteran bros went against it and died instantly, Bob is beatable, but it requires you to think. First, remember that there is a narrow corridor to Bob's core, but it's lined with super powerful turrets. Going left or right or up or down will spin you straight into the turrets. So you'll die anyway. Two surefire tactics of destroying Bob are the suicide bombing technique, which costs a shitload, as well as the lives of two bros, and the trollface method, which is difficult, but easy. The suicide bomber technique consists of having the bulk of your Bromada sit back, more than 40k away, from Bob, while two chosen bros, equipped with troll missiles (These do 25 million damage each, and have a 40k blast radius, they also kill the user) go forward, though one at a time mind. The first bro hangs back with the rest of the fleet, while the second screams something really awesome for a screenshot, charges into the center of Bob, where his tiny balls can be found. The bro hits Bob with a missile, dies, but Bob will be down a good portion of his health. The second bro charges in, but because he is actually killing Bob, yells an even cooler line and will be all stylin up in the first bro's... style. He dies, and Bob goes down. However this will not turn off the laser turrets, so the rest of the fleet charges in, picks up the spoils, and docks with Bob's wormhole. The trollface tactic involves using Trollship.jpg ships to form a barrier between the actual attacking fleet, and the lasers, this is hard to do, but since trollships are invincible AND can carry 2 bros, make it the safest way. Rewards You get to travel through Bob. What's on the otherside? Where did the Durr-Kvosh go? Not telling, go play /v/lancer.